Purpose

Some people blog to share: ideas, products, creations; others blog to share every intimate detail of their daily lives, and still others blog to uplift people and to help them. I blog as a form of personal expression. I don't expect others to agree with what I say, heck I don't even expect them to care enough to read it. I do this to express myself; if others gain something from my ramblings and can take that with them, I am glad I was able to make a difference. The written word is often how I express myself best. It allows my to put all of the my thoughts together on a page and then sort through them, piecing them together bit by bit until I can make sense of them. Sometimes I get stuck in my own head, all these thoughts and feelings swirling, banging on my skull, sucking the air out of my lungs, then suddenly I'm drowning in thoughts and tears. Tears of frustration and confusion as to how I can feel so much at once and wondering if it's only me that feels this way. Am I the only one that feels like the world is spinning out of control, that nothing will ever go 'right' and that all is lost...just by simply allowing myself to sit and ponder for a moment? I like to think not. I like to think that others out there feel the same way, and they like me don't say anything about it. They allow themselves to continue to drown and numb that horrid sensation with plastered on smiles and meaningless conversation. I like to think that I am not alone. So in conclusion, that is my purpose. To write my emotions and feelings, to convey what others may be to afraid to voice, and to allow myself to no longer feel alone... 

Welcome 2016!

If I'm being completely honest, the changing of the years has never been a big deal for me. I blame it on the school calendar. To me, a new year begins in August when I move on to something new in my day to day life (i.e. a new grade, new classes etc.). I've struggled a lot with self-love, self-acceptance, happiness in general, and feeling like I belong here and deserve to have the life I dream of. Although, in reflection of 2015--at a risk of being like every other human being on this planet-- it was one of my best years yet. 2015 was not really different in my struggles; it brought a lot of tears and anger and despair, but I also worked towards loving myself and worked towards finding my niche where I click. I found little pockets of happiness that I can look back on fondly. Do I love myself everyday and have I found somewhere that I feel completely myself? HECK NO! I think that it's going to be a life long struggle and an eternal pursuit of happiness. Although, I am ready and determined to make that journey. So hello 2016, throw me all you've got, because I am a strong, independent woman who knows what she wants and can conquer anything I set my mind to.

 

Aurora Liberosis

Aurora: (n) dawn.    Liberosis: (n) the desire to care less about things.

My first thought when choosing this particular title was, "wow that sounds like a spell from Harry Potter", but sadly, the great J.K. Rowling played no role in this selection. I actually chose this title strictly based on it's definition. Call me cliche' for starting a blog on January 1st with this goal in mind, but it's true: This is the beginning, or dawn of my journey towards caring less about things, and more about myself.